The Smelly Feet!

A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached,
they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem they had never
before shared with anyone, not even each other.

The Groom-to-be, overcoming his fear, decided to ask his father
for advice. "Father," he said, "I am deeply concerned about the
success of my marriage."

His father replied, "Don't you love this girl?"

"Oh yes, very much," he said," but you see, I have very smelly
feet, and I'm afraid that my fiance will be put off by them."

"No problem," said dad, "all you have to do is wash your feet as
often as possible,and always wear socks, even to bed." Well,
to him this seemed a workable solution.

The bride-to-be, overcoming her fear, decided to take her
problem up with her mom." Mom," she said, "When I wake up
in the morning my breath is truly awful."

"Honey," her mother consoled, "everyone has bad breath in the
morning."

"No, you don't understand,. My morning breath is so bad, I'm
afraid that my fiance will not want to sleep in the same room
with me."

Her mother said simply, "Try this. In the morning, get straight
out of bed, and head for the kitchen and make breakfast. While
the family is busy eating, move on to the bathroom and brush
your teeth. The key is, not to say a word until you've brushed
your teeth."

"I shouldn't say good morning or anything?" the daughter
asked.

"Not a word," her mother affirmed.

"Well, it's certainly worth a try," she thought.

The loving couple were finally married. Not forgetting the advice
each had received, he with his perpetual socks and she with
her morning silence, they managed quite well. That is, until
about six months later. Shortly before dawn one morning, the
husband wakes with a start to find that one of his socks had
come off. Fearful of the consequences, he frantically searches
the bed. This, of course, wakes his bride and without thinking,
she asks, "What on earth are you doing?"

"Oh, my," he replies, "you've swallowed my sock!"

Talking Horse!

A travelling salesman stopped alongside a field on a country road to rest
a few minutes.
The man had just closed his eyes when a horse came to the fence and began
to boast about his past. "Yes sir, I'm a fine horse. I've run in 25 races
and won over £5 million. I keep my trophies in the barn."
The salesman worked out the value of having a talking horse, found the
horse's owner and offered a handsome sum for the animal.
"Oh, you don't want that horse," said the farmer.
"Yes I do," said the salesman, "and I'll give you £10,000 for the horse."
Recognising a good deal, the farmer said without hesitation, "He's yours."
While he wrote out his cheque, the salesman asked, "By the way, why
wouldn't I want your horse?"
"Because," said the farmer, "he's a liar - he hasn't won a race in his
life."

The plumber has arrived!

A lady was expecting the plumber; he was supposed to come at ten o'clock. Ten o'clock came and went; no plumber; eleven o'clock, twelve o'clock, one o'clock; no plumber.

She concluded he wasn't coming, and went out to do some errands. While she was out, the plumber arrived.

He knocked on the door; the lady's parrot, who was at home in a cage by the door, said, "Who is it?"

He replied, "It's the plumber."

He thought it was the lady who'd said, "Who is it?" and waited for her to come and let him in. When this didn't happen he knocked again, and again the parrot said, "Who is it?"

He said, "It's the plumber!"

He waited, and again the lady didn't come to let him in. He knocked again, and again the parrot said, "Who is it?"

He said, "It's the plumber!!!!!!!!"

Again he waited; again she didn't come; again he knocked; again the parrot said, "Who is it?"; "Aarrrrrrgggggghhhhhhh!!!" he said, flying into a rage; he pushed the door in and ripped it off its hinges. He suffered a heart attack and he fell dead in the doorway.

The lady came home from her errands, only to see the door ripped off its hinges and a corpse lying in the doorway, "A dead body!" she exclaimed, "Who is it?!"

The parrot said, "It's the plumber."

The story of the bats!

Two vampire bats wake up in the middle of the night, thirsty for blood. One says, "Let's fly out of the cave and get some blood."

"We're new here," says the second one. "It's dark out, and we don't know where to look. We'd better wait until the other bats go with us."

The first bat replies, "Who needs them? I can find some blood somewhere." He flies out of the cave.

When he returns, he is covered with blood.

The second bat says excitedly, "Where did you get the blood?"

The first bat takes his buddy to the mouth of the cave. Pointing into the night, he asks, "See that black building over there?"

"Yes," the other bat answers.

"Well," says the first bat, "I didn't."

Letters!

Some applications from Pakistanis who learnt English at government funded schools.

A students leave letter:

As I am suffering from my uncle's marriage I cannot attend the class.

A candidate's application: This has reference to your advertisement calling for a typist And an accountant - Male or Female As I am both for the past Several years and I can handle both; I am applying for the post.

An employee applied for leave as follows:Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife. Please sanction me one-week leave.

Another employee applied for half day leave as follows: Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clocks and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave

A leave letter to the headmaster: As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today.

An incident of a leave letter: I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday.

Another leave letter written to the headmaster:As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day.

A covering note:I am enclosed herewith..

A great application for leave: As my mother-in-law has expired and I am responsible for it, Please grant me 10 days leave.

Letter written for application of leave: My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband At home I may be granted leave.

Letter writing: I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well.

The Seat Belt!

An off-duty police officer, familiar with radar guns,
drove through a school zone within the legal speed limit
when the flash of a camera went off, taking a picture of
his license plate.

The officer, thinking the radar was in error, drove by again;
even more slowly. Another flash. He did it again for a third
time, at an even slower speed. Same result.

"This guy must have screwed up the settings," the off-duty
officer thought.

A few weeks later, when he received the violations in the mail,
he discovered three traffic tickets:

Each for not wearing a seat belt!

LATEST AND THE MOST FUNNY JOKES!

ENJOY YOURSELF.....LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE!

HERE ARE SOME OF THE FUNNIEST JOKES.......





Brain Check-up

While having a brain check up…Doctor : I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.Sardar : Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)Doctor : Did you understand what I just told you?Sardar : Yes of course, do you think I’m dumb?Doctor : Then why are you so happy?Sardar : Because that proves that I have a brain!


Guy walks into a bar

A guy walks into a bar and there’s a horse serving drinks.The horse asks, “What are you staring at?”Haven’t you ever seen a horse tending bar before?”The guy says, “It’s not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.”


Aey Bhai!!!

Munna : Abay Circuit! Jaa baajo walay ghar say Doctor ko bula k laa, meri tabiat kharab ho reli hai.Circuit : Aey Bhai!!! aap to khud doctor ho.Munna : Bolay to meri fees bahut zyada hai.


Incredible woking dog

A salesman dropped in to see a business customer. Not a soul was in the office except a big dog emptying wastebaskets.The salesman stared at the animal, wondering if his imagination could be playing tricks on him. The dog looked up and said, don’t be surprised. This is just part of my job.Incredible! Exclaimed the man. I can’t believe it! Does your boss know what a prize he has in you? An animal that can talk!No, no, pleaded the dog. Please don’t! If he finds out i can talk, he’ll make me answer the phone as well!


Do girls make loud sound?

Guide: I welcome u all to the Niagra falls. These are the world’s largest waterfalls and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, sound of even 20 supersonic planes passing can’t b heard!Now may I request the ladies to keep quiet so that we can hear the Niagra Falls?


Murga sardar tha…

A Sardar went 2 hotel, ordered chicken and waiter comes with the order.Sardar: Murgi ki taange kithe hai?Waiter: Woh langra tha.Sardar: Dil?Waiter: Dil murgi le gayee.Sardar: Dimaag?Waiter: Murga sardar tha…


Moscow the Capital of China

A girl was yelling in the Church after the Chapel: “Oh God! Please make Moscow the Capital of China!”The priest inquired: “Why must you pray so, my child?”Girl: “That’s what I’ve written in my answer sheet in the examination!”


How to decide???

Banta and Santa buy one race horse each after learning about big money in racing.Says Banta, “How do we identify which horse is mine and which one is yours?”Santa Singh replies, “I will cut the tail of my horse and so the horse without a tail will be mine and the one with a tail will be yours.”So they cut the tail of the horse. But in the night their naughty kids cut the tail of the other horse too.And the next day Banta Singh is worried and says, “I will cut one of the ears of my horse so the horse with one ear will be mine and the other one will be yours.”The next night the kids cut the other horse’s ears too. And so it goes on until the horses lost their ears, eyes, had broken noses etc.And in the end both horses were left only with bare legs and were just barely living. Both Santa and Banta were frustrated.At last Banta says, “BAHUT HO GAYA. SAFED WALA GHORA MERA, KALA WALA TERA”


ATM Password

A Sardar was drawing money from ATM, Sardar behind him in the line said, “Ha! Ha! Haaa! I’ve seen your password.”Its 4 asterisks (****).The first Sardar replies, Ha! Ha! Haaa! You are wrong, Its “1258″.


Watch out for the wall

At the end of the funeral service the pall bearers are carrying the casket out. When they accidentally bump into a wall jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive.She lives for ten more years and then dies. A ceremony is again held at the same place and at the end of the ceremony the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket.As they are walking the husband cries out, “Watch out for the wall!”


Air travel of Sardarji

One Sardar was going to Chandigarh from pune by a air-india plane.He was alloted the middle seat of one of the 3-seats array.But as soon as the Sardarji got into the plane, he sat on the window side seat which was actually for an old lady.After some time the old lady came and requested the Sardarji to leave the side seat.But the Sardaji told, "I want to see the view from the window and shall not leave".The old lady then complained to the air hostess .The air hostess requested the Sardarji to leave that seat but Sardarji did not leave.Then the air hostess went and told the asst. captain. He also came and requested, but in vain.Finally the Captain came. He whispered something in the ears of the Sardarji and the Sardarji immedietly left the side seat and returned to the middle seat.Astonished, the airhostess and the asst. captain asked the captain afterwards what he told to the Sardarji?Captain told, "nothing… I just told him that only the middle seats will go to Chandigarh and all others will go to Jalandhar."


Mrs. Banta Singh’s Habit

Mrs. Banta Singh was in the habit of having long conversation on the telephone, sometimes going on over an hour.One day she hung up after 25 minutes…."What is the matter today? asked her husband. "Today you had less than half an hour conversation on the phone.""I got a wrong number," replied Mrs. Banta Singh.
Touching story!
There was a mosquito and a dog who loved each other a lot.One day the mosquito got excited and gave a love bite to the dog.The dog became emotional and returned the love bite to the mosquito.The next day…Mosquito died of rabies and dog died of malaria…
Parrot Auction
One day a man went to an auction to bid on a parrot. He kept gettingoutbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher. Finally, after he bidway more than he intended, he won the bid - the parrot was his at last!As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the Auctioneer, "I surehope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much forit, only to find out that he can't talk!""Don't worry." said the Auctioneer, "He can talk. Who do you thinkkept bidding against you?"


Supermarket Patience

A man in a supermarket was pushing a cart which contained, among otherthings, a screaming baby. As the man proceeded along the aisles, he keptrepeating softly, "Keep calm, Thomas. Don't get excited, Thomas. Don'tyell, Thomas."A lady watched with admiration and then said, "You are certainly to becommended for your patience in trying to quiet little Thomas.""Lady," he declared, "I'M THOMAS!"


Dirty Little Boys

A little boy fellow came in from playing in the yard, covered fromhead to toe in dirt, and asked his mother, "Who am I?"Thinking this was a new game she said, "I don't know! Who are you?""WOW!" cried the boy. "Mrs. Johnson was right! She said I was sodirty, my own mother wouldn't recognize me!


Fighting Fair

"I'm ashamed of you," the mother said. "Fighting with your bestfriend is a terrible thing to do!""He threw a rock at me!" the boy said. "So I threw one at him."The mother said, "When he threw a rock at you, you should have come tome.""Thanks, Mom," the boy replied. "But my aim is much better than yours."


Sponge!

In the doctors office two patients are talking "You know, I had an appendectomy last month and the doctor left a sponge in me by mistake" "A sponge!" exclaims the other "And do you feel much pain" "No pain at all", says the first, "but do I get thirsty!"


Clever Dog

A wife says to her husband one weekend morning, We've got such a clever dog. He brings in the daily newspapers every morning. Her husband replied Well, lots of dogs can do that. The wife responded, But we've never subscribed to any papers!!!


Exchange Deal!

The judge frowned at the tired robber and said, "then you admit breaking into the same store on three successive nights?""Yes, your honor।""And why was that?""Because my wife wanted a dress."The judge check with his records, "But it says here you broke in three nights in a row!""Yes sir. She made me exchange it two times."


Bihari lecturer

A new Bihari lecturer was unable to control the class. The guys were just talking without giving any attention to him.So he wanted to send a guy who was creating most of the problem out. But he did not know how to put it in English..He went near the guy. Shouted 'follow me'. The guy followed him till he went out of the class. Now the lecturer turned back and again shouted 'Do not follow me' and went inside the class..


Thats Strange..!

A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, 'Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer.'The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passers-by would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone. However he suggested an alternative. He would inscribe, 'Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer.'That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark, 'That is Strange.'


How much do you want it to be?

A university committee was selecting a new dean. They had narrowed the candidates down to a mathematician, an economist and a lawyer.Each was asked this question during their interview: 'How much is two plus two?'The mathematician answered immediately, 'Four.'The economist thought for several minutes and finally answered, 'Four, plus or minus one.'Finally the lawyer stood up, peered around the room and motioned silently for the committee members to gather close to him. In a hushed, conspiratorial tone, he replied, 'How much do you want it to be?'


I am coming daily

A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.Santa does not turns up for 4 days. Lady calls again.Santa replies, 'I am coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.'


Sardar and hidden camera

Jasmeet caught her husband Santa Singh searching high and low all around his living room.Jasmeet: 'What are you searching for?'Santa: 'Hidden camera!'Jasmeet: 'And what makes you think that there are hidden camera here?'Santa: 'That guy on tv knows exactly what I am doing. Why every few minutes he keeps saying, You are watching the Star World channel. How does he know that?'


I know you

A lawyer approached to an elderly grandmother and asked, 'Mrs.. Jones, do you know me?'She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I have known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you are a big disappointment to me.You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you are a big shot when you have not the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher.'The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs.. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'She again replied, 'Why, yes, I do. I have known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster. He is lazy and has a drinking problem. He can not build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife.'The defense attorney almost died.The judge asked both lawyers to approach the bench and in a quiet voice said:'If either of you rascals asks her if she knows me, I will send you to 20 years of prison.'


If you will try to kiss

Girl: If you will try to kiss me main shor macha dungiBoy: Lekin yahan to dur tak koi nahi hai.Girl: I know per formality to karni hi paregi.
When we get married
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.Boy: It is very kind of you, darling, But I do not have any worries or troubles.Girl: Well that is because we are not married yet.


Camel Questions

A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks,"Mom, why have I got these huge three toed feet?"The mother replies, "Well son, when we trek across the desert yourtoes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand.""Okay," says the son.A few minutes later the son asks, "Mom, why have I got these greatlong eyelashes?""They are there to keep the sand out of your eyes on the tripsthrough the desert.""Thanks Mom," replies the son.After a short while, the son returns and asks, "Mom, why have I gotthese great big humps on my back??"His mother replies impatiently, "They are there to help us store waterfor our long treks across the desert.""That's great Mom. So we have huge feet to stop us sinking, and longeyelashes to keep the sand from our eyes, and these humps to storewater, but Mom...""Yes, son?""Why the heck are we in the San Diego zoo?"


More Bees

Q: What are the cleverest bees?A: Spelling bees!Q: What kind of bee is hard to understand?A: A mumble bee!Q: What bee is good for your health?A: Vitamin bee!Q: What TV stations do bees watch?A: N Bee C, A Bee C and C Bee S!Q: What buzzes, is black and yellow and goes along the bottom of thesea?A: A bee in a submarine!


Bee There or Bee Square

Q: Why do bees hum?A: Because they've forgotten the words!Q: What kind of bees hum and drop things?A: A fumble bee!Q: What do bees do if they want to use public transportation?A: Wait at a buzz stop!Q: What do bees chew?A: Bumble gum!Q: What is a bee's favorite classical music composer?A: Bee-thoven!


Talking Working Dog

A salesman dropped in to see a business customer. Not a soul was inthe office except a big dog emptying wastebaskets. The salesmanstared at the animal, wondering if his imagination could be playingtricks on him.The dog looked up and said, "Don't be surprised. This is just partof my job.""Incredible!" exclaimed the man. "I can't believe it! Does your bossknow what a prize he has in you? An animal that can talk!""Please don't!" said the dog. "If he finds out I can talk, he'll makeme answer the phone, too!"


A Flying Turtle?

Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. Afterhours of effort he reached the lowest branch, jumped into the airwaving his front legs, and dropped to the ground. He slowly climbed thetree again, jumped, and fell to the ground.The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting ona branch watched his efforts. Finally, the female bird turnedto her mate."Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted."


The Security Guard

Passing an office building one Sunday, a girl saw a sign thatsaid, "Press bell for security guard."She did so, and after several minutes she heard the guardclomping down the stairs. She watched him shut down the alarm system,put three different keys in three different locks, and finally open thedoor."Well," the security guard said to the girl, "what do you want?"She looked at him curiously. "I just wondered why you couldn't ring ityourself."


Secretary In Training

The boss was very exasperated with his new secretary. She ignored thetelephone when it rang."You must answer the telephone," he told her irritably."All right," she replied, "but it seems so silly. Nine times out often, it's for you!"


It Pays To Laugh

The boss joined a group of his workers at the coffee urn and told aseries of jokes he'd heard recently. Everybody laughed loudly.Everybody, that is, except Mike.When he noticed that he was getting no reaction from Mike, the bosssaid, "What's the matter, Mike? No sense of humor?""My sense of humor is fine," he said. "But I don't have to laugh. I'mquitting tomorrow."


A Responsible Employee

A man was interviewing for a job. The interviewer said, "In this job weneed someone who is responsible.""I'm the one you want," the man replied. "At my last job every timeanything went wrong, they said I was responsible."


The Big Sale

It was the day of the big sale. A long line had formed by opening time.A man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back,amid shouts. On the man's second attempt, he was knocked around and thenthrown to the end of the line again.As he got ready for a third try, he said to the person at the end ofthe line, "That does it! If they hit me one more time, I won't openthe store!"


Local Call

Queen Elizabeth, Clinton & Sharoon died & went straight to hell. Queen Elizabeth said "I miss England, I want to call England and see how everybody is doing there. She called and talked for about 5 minutes, then she asked "Well, devil how much do I owe you???? The devil says "Five million dollars"She wrote him a cheque and went to sit back on her chair. Clinton was soo jealous, he starts screaming, "My turn! I wanna call the United States, I want to see how everybody is doing there too" He called and talked for about 2 minutes, then he asked "Well, devil how much do I owe you???? The devil says "Ten million dollars" With a smug look on his face, he made a cheque and went to sit back on his chair. Sharoon was even more jealous & starts screaming, "I want to call Israil too, I wanna talk to the ministers, to the deputy, I wanna talk to everybody of my Parliment"..... He called Israil and he talked for about twenty hours, he talked & talked & talked, then he asked "Well, devil how much do I owe you???? The devil says "Twenty dollars". Sharoon is stunned & says "Twenty dollars??? Only ??" The devil says "Well if you make a call from one hell to another hell, it's local".


George Bush in a primary school...

George Bush goes to a primary school to talk about the war. After his talk, he offers question time.One little boy puts up his hand and George asked, What is your name?BobAnd what is your question, Bob?I have 3 questions.First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?Second, why are you president when al gore got more votes?Third, what happened to Osama bin laden?Just then, the bell rings for recess.George bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.When they resume George says, Ok where were we?Oh, thats right. Question time. Who has a question?A different little boy raises his hand.George points him out and asked him what is your name?SteveAnd what is your question Steve?I have 5 questions.First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of UN?Second, why are you president when Al Gore got more votes?Third, what happened to Osama bin laden?Fourth, why did the recess bell go 20 minutes early?Fifth, where is Bob?


Donkey and A Sardar..

A Donkey kicked sardar jee and ran away sardar jee ran to catch the donkey.. he saw a zebra and started beating him and said,KHOTEYA TRACK SUIT PA K MEINOO TOKHA DEY REYA AEY.


Polish Remover

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:Have you any grounds?Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?It made of concrete.I don’t think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?No, we have carport, and not need one.I mean. What are your relations like?All my relations still in Poland.Is there any infidelity in your marriage?We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.Does your wife beat you up?No, I always up before her.Is your wife a nagger?No, she white.Why do you want this divorce?She is going to kill me.What makes you think that?I got proof.What kind of proof?She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read and It say Polish Remover.


Kitney aadmi thay?

Gabbar: Kitne admi they?Sambha: Sardar 2Gabbar: Mujhe ginti nahin aati, 2 kitne hote hain?Samba: Sardar 2, 1 ke baad aata haiGabbar: Aur 2 ke pehle?Samba: 2 k pehle 1 aata hai.Gabbar: To beech mein kaun ata hai?Samba: Beech mein koi nahi aata>Gabbar:: To phir dono ek saath kyun nahin aate?Samba: 1 k baad hi 2 aa sakta hai, kyun ki 2, 1 se barra hai.Gabar: 2, 1 se kitna barra hai?Samba: 2, 1 se 1 barra hai.Gabbar: Agar 2, 1 se 1 barraa hai to 1, 1 se kitna barraa hai?Samnba: Sardar maine aapka namak khaya hai, mujhe goli maar do.


Pakistani in NASA

This is the story of a Pakistani Scientist, who is a Mechanical Engineer from NED and a PHD from Florida Institute of Technology.)NASA was getting ready to launch a very important Space shuttle. The scientists and engineers checked And double checked everything to make sure That things are fine.However, on the day of its launch, something seemed to Be wrong.The rocket gave all sorts of noise but never Took off even an inch from the ground.The engineers were puzzled because they could not Figure out the problem.Finally, there was a Pakistani scientist (the one who Is mentionedabove) he offered the help. NASA people Were desperate by that time and agreed to do Anything.Tilt the rocket 45 degrees to the left said the Pakistani scientist.The engineers were puzzled but did it anyway. Bring It back to vertical position the Pakistani said.The engineers did so . Now start the engines he Said. And surprise, the rocket took off and flew into Outer space!Everybody congratulated him and asked him how he knew what to do. He replied -It’s very simple. This is what we always do with our CD 70 motor bike in Pakistan


HR's Help

After 3 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increase no commendation and that the Company is not doing any thing about it. So he decided to walk up to his HR Manager one morning and after exchanging greetings,He told his HR Manager his observation. The boss looked at him,laughed and asked him to sit down saying; My friend, you have not worked here for even one day.The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.Manager:- How many days are there in a year?Man:- 365 days and some times 366Manager:- how many hours make up a day?Man:- 24 hoursManager:- How long do you work in a day?Man:- 8am to 4pm. i.e. 8 hours a day.Manager:- So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours?Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e. 1/3(one third)Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?Man:- 122 (1/3×366 = 122 in days)Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends?Man:- No sirManager:- How many days are there in a year that are weekends?Man:- 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 daysManager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many days do you now have?Man:- 18 days.Manager:- OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that 14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining?Man:- 4 daysManager:- Do you work on New Year day?Man:- No sir!Manager:- Do you come to work on workers day?Man:- No sir!Manager:- So how many days are left?Man:- 2 days sir!Manager:- Do you come to work on the (National holiday )?Man:- No sir!Manager:- So how many days are left?Man:- 1 day sir!Manager:- Do you work on Christmas day?Man:- No sir!Manager:- So how many days are left?Man:- None sir!Manager:- So, what are you claiming?Man:- I have understood, Sir. I did not realize that I was stealing Company money all these days.Moral: NEVER GO TO HR
FOR HELP!!!